At the end of poem, the narrator states “Naturally, the important thing is, I helped to save them, them and a part of their democracy, even if I had to kick their law into their teeth in order to do that for them. And I am feeling well settled in myself because I believe it was a good job, Despite this possible horror, that they might prefer Preservation of their law in all its sick dignity and their knives To the continuation of their creed And their lives.” What does this tell you the narrator is still struggling with and questioning?